I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I've been taking time for myself a lot lately. Hence why I haven't been writing blogs. To be honest, part of it is because I don't know what my niche is anymore. I'm multifaceted. I enjoy so many different things, but my main passion is writing and storytelling, whether it be through singing or other art forms, but my main is writing. I just forget to do it because I am doing so many other things. Like, for instance, my past few months have consisted of just normal day-to-day living things: bills, cleaning, building a new chicken coop, and doctor appointments for the family.

So, I write when I feel like it. Probably just not going to stick to a solid schedule until I can know for sure what I'm going to be writing about 100% of the time. I thought I had a plan for my blog sites, but I flopped on most of them because I didn't know what to write about. I was in a perpetual state of writer's block. But now I think one of the things I will be doing is just writing for the sake of writing.

I just got done going through old journals to add to the new volume of "Love, Life, and Mental Illness" and remembered that I don't always have to write a four-page essay every time I write. Sometimes just a few sentences of freewriting helps me get the creative juices flowing. So it'll be back to just the mad ramblings of a writer. Because it's the only career I can do without having to work with real people.

My favorite quote right now is from Fredrik Backman: "My brain and I aren't friends, we are classmates working on a group assignment called life and it's not going great." Because that is what it is for me. My brain will sit there and go, 'let's write.' And then I'll jump to, 'oh crap I've got a house to clean and children to tend to. Can't write, must mom.' I go on and do all that and then get depressed because I can't create, and then take the time to play video games or watch TV with the family and forget all about the things I love doing. It's a stupid ouroboros, and I need to stop eating my own damn tail.